Good people of Monster and...
That is the biggest battle...
don't Spartan or...
Music
Good people, most of that.
That is the big monster which I'll play here.
And here's your crew, Alex.
Yes, we got there.
The computer worked.
Excellent.
Let me just close that down.
Let me show you that screen instead.
Hello, good evening.
My name is Stephen Goodwin.
And this is the big, fostered,
Chris of the year.
We did it again last year.
Who is here for last year's?
And you came back.
There is a saying in show business that you get to perform on every stage twice
in your career.
Once, when you're on the way up,
and secondly, when your career is on the way down.
So it is good to be back.
This is actually my fifth time on this main stage.
It doesn't get any smaller,
and it doesn't get any better.
On stage, we have four contestants who have all been brought with us to a bottle.
So they have no contestants.
Hopefully, we have four scores and one for the audience.
Because last year, the audience won.
So I figured they'd better have their own little section.
The questions are in the style of jeopardy,
but because we don't have the rights to jeopardy,
we're not calling it that.
Everything, we have five groups of questions.
We have deeks bearing gifts.
We have deep silver.
Europe, endless.
People are people and to interwebs.
We'll go through one of the time,
asking for a question category,
and a number of points.
So if the question is for example,
there is a free and open source developers European meeting,
the correct responses, what is false them?
Every answer is actually a question.
Or for example, what snake-like programming language
was named after a comedy group from the 60s?
The answer would be, what is Python?
So what is should we see every question stroke answer?
So in that in mind, we'll start at our left.
You're going to be our contestant P1?
Yeah, we didn't have time to put names in, I'm sorry.
What is your name?
Very good.
Excellent, eh?
Give me a question, category, and a number of points.
It's very good.
For 300, you're feeling confident, okay?
Geeksbar and gifts for 300?
Okay.
The clue is, I can't read my own handwriting.
This term describes proprietary software,
disguised as open source.
Such things as shared source.
What could that word possibly be?
This guy is...
Close it, sorry.
Close it.
This is open source.
So it's not actually open source, but it pretends to be.
Source available?
Source or open washing is acceptable for 300 points.
And for some reason, we're not getting any points on screen.
Oh, my computer's discharged.
Let me refresh that.
Geeksbar and gifts.
Okay.
If anyone's got a note pad, can you just make a note that is 300 points for player 1?
Oh, there we go.
I forgot my tip there.
And for we have...
Yes, someone...
I'm serious now.
Someone will have to actually make a note of these scores for me.
Okay, we've got a score key for their excellent.
Next round, a question category and a point...
Geeksbar and gifts for 200.
Okay.
This forge started in 2011.
That's me too.
And as we see funding from August Capital,
Wyconvenator and Cosla Ventures and represents itself as an alternative to GitHub and GitLab.
What is the name of the source?
This forge.
So open source for positive.
What is...
No, I don't know.
GitLab.
Yeah, I've found a mine actually has a dog called Git.
They basically go GitFetch.
That was the joke, by the way.
GitFetch.
Nevermind, when they do fetch, it's GitBranch.
Let's go along.
Okay.
Condition number three, hello.
What category and what score value would you like?
Webs for 300.
Okay, let's find that one.
That's over there.
Okay.
Okay, I forgot this one myself.
There we go.
This encryption protocol, usually shortened to a TLA,
is commonly used to secure data transfer on the web.
But also used in email,
Viper, various other things.
What is it?
What is TLS?
Transport layer security?
This is...
You'll have endless for 300.
Okay.
Oops.
Okay, in 2006, I've picked over time up.
In 2006, time magazine, a word the person of the year, to whom?
Storman?
No.
It was you.
In 2006, time magazine said that the person of the year is you.
Every single one of us that used Tinterwebs,
that was you, person of the year, for time 2006.
Did you realize that?
You were all in time magazine.
Well, things don't be too happy about it.
A couple of years ago, they actually put your musk on the cover.
And they called him a clown,
and an edge lord, and the CAD.
And this is people they like.
Next one up.
We're back to the beginning again.
We should probably have some more.
We'll reveal answers all by the way.
I do have a picture for that.
If you were wondering,
I don't know.
We can't.
I haven't shot the picture.
There we go.
That's the magazine cover for time.
It was literally you.
Excellent.
That's high that.
Okay.
Consistent number one again, please.
Let's have a category and an amount.
People are people 400.
Bill are people for 400.
Okay.
We have a visual clue on this one.
This is tricky.
I will grant you that.
You recognize the picture?
This is disaster girl.
But in 2025,
an NFT of disaster girl was sold for half a million dollars.
It's okay.
She only sold the NFT,
which means she can sell the copyright again and again and again.
The girl pictured.
Is that famous meme?
What's her real name?
I do not know.
What is I do not know?
Her real name is Zoe Roth.
Yes, you were not necessarily expected to get that.
Some people do.
And that's her now.
Still smiling at the burning inferno behind her.
Excellent.
Number two, another question.
Category and an amount.
You have endless for 300.
Okay.
Let me move my screen across so I can see the question.
Okay.
This search term.
This search term increased in usage by 2,000%.
When the UK, all UK websites were required to verify the age of its users.
What search term increased in usage when the government says,
we're going to block you.
What is VPN?
Correct answer.
Here.
Three hundred.
And if you're wondering, that's the graph.
That shows you exactly how well legislation works.
It is ludicrous.
Okay.
Number three, let's have a question category and amount, please.
So we haven't had deep solver yet.
Number two, another question for 200.
Deep solver for 200.
Now does anyone realize what deep solver is meant to be?
What's the category?
It's an anagram of developers.
Kind of act is what we do.
And also these are developer and word questions.
So the deep solver for 200 is.
To a programmer, this date might get confused with Halloween.
I October 31st.
What would it be?
Let's start the countdown.
October 31st.
What is November 1st?
What is December 25th?
Because in October 31st is the same as decimal 25.
It's Christmas day.
Excellent.
There we go.
December 25th.
Deep solver.
Okay.
Now you know what that category is about.
You can either ignore it or try to embrace it.
Yeah.
What do you reckon?
Let's take tech interwebs for 100.
Tinterwebs for 100.
Okay.
Let me select that.
There we go.
Although it went down twice last year.
This is the expected state of a cloud-flare server after changing database permissions.
What is the expected state of a server?
I'll give you a clue.
It isn't down.
The server should have been up.
But they changed the database permissions and it just fell over.
Not my fault.
Yes.
100 points there.
Up.
Yeah.
I know what went cloud-flare that went down.
So did chat GPT.
And literally no value was lost.
Yeah.
Thank you.
This is the cutting edge satire.
I'm going to call them for all right.
Also, by the way, as a developer here,
do you want to do the development things?
Pro tip for your screen grab.
The cloud-flare is offline page and put that as your 404.
Because if you get any problems on your website,
you won't get blamed for it.
Excellent.
We're back to our contestant number one again.
A category and an amount please.
Keep server 300.
300.
This Oxford word of the year in 2025 means content
that is intentionally created to trigger outrage
and boost engagement.
That is rage bait.
It is rage bait.
300 there.
I should have pointed out when you had the question
on decimal and not two numbers.
I had a joke about that and I've got to do it.
So I'm going to do it now.
It wasn't joke about numbers and words and things like that.
And my joke was and I was very proud of this.
It's just like Excel.
Just like in cells they get confused by the meaning of a date.
I also quite like it because they've actually had to rename
parts of the human genome because Excel can't handle
septum.
If you do septum, it says it's always septum for the first.
And it breaks Excel and it broke the human genome.
So they had to rename it.
That's a good bit of quiz knowledge for you.
Okay number two.
A category.
400.
Over for 400.
We know it's geeky stuff so we know it's going to be quite fun.
Oh there we go.
Okay, image before.
Okay.
Let's reveal the image then.
Oh.
Anyone who recognizes this will know that this is going to be
a difficult question.
That's why it's 400 points.
Okay.
Let's hide that image.
What's the button?
It's around there somewhere.
There we go.
This debugger shares its name with a mythical creature.
What is Hydra?
Hydra?
This one is Grendel.
Who's spotted Grendel?
Was there someone in the audience that got that one?
It is a difficult one.
That's why it's 400 points.
It comes from the power in Baywolf.
And it's debugger for high power performance computing.
So there's a reason it's from Baywolf.
But we move on.
I category and an amount.
Who interwebs for the most possible 400?
Ten to reach for 400.
Okay.
Let's find my.
Okay.
In 2025, this single region of AWS cloud was necessary to take down
half the internet.
Repeat the question.
I'll try.
I barely understand the question.
It's behind you.
There we go.
That's, I mean, guessing.
Guess that AWS region.
I don't know.
You're a specific one.
What is US specific one?
It is.
US Eastman.
There we go.
The scariest Halloween costume ever.
And 400 points over here.
Excellent.
No.
Some.
It's Amazon.
So we're allowed to make fun of them, right?
I mean, they made three hundred and eleven billion dollars last year after tax.
Or if you want the number before tax, it's three hundred and eleven billion.
Okay.
category and a number please.
Check interwebs 200.
Interwebs for 200.
Okay.
This HTTP question is not found.
What is 404?
Exact amount, Mike Everton.
200 points there.
404 not found.
I know.
You think this is one of those bad dad jokes, right?
But that's fine.
But by the way, who knows whatever full one eight is?
Okay.
Give a hundred points to the audience.
I'm a T-pot.
It's a collector answer.
It's okay.
These jokes are meant to be old.
I got them from a database.
You're going to use that later.
I know.
You're groaning now.
Excellent.
More questions.
What do we go?
So five categories.
Geeks bearing gifts for hundreds.
Geeks bearing gifts for 400.
Okay.
This is when I will stop using productivity bugging.
As my first, oh, this will only take a second to fix strategy.
And your time starts now.
Never.
Never going to happen.
Is that less face it?
Let me just cast.
Okay, I can't get those ones going.
Never mind.
Okay.
Some more points there.
So next please.
You're up endless for 200.
And the question is please.
You're up endless for 200.
Okay.
I didn't know this one.
I did have to look this up.
I'm afraid.
So this European city.
Totally host the Chaos Communication Congress.
What?
What is Hamburg?
I don't know the answer myself.
It's Hamburg.
200 points to the genius in vote too.
Next up.
Let's do that one for 400.
For 400.
And click.
So regardless of country.
What do you have to do with your modified code under the GPL?
Realizing it under compatible terms?
You do in state.
What is realizing it under compatible terms?
Yes.
I said you have to give it.
So I haven't got space.
So it's yes.
You do have to give that away.
Excellent work there.
And to the end of the row again.
People are people 200.
Is that 200?
200 people are people.
Okay.
Oh, which it's stormen?
If anyone is not aware of this, that's which it's stormen.
There were young people who were going yes.
And there were older people in the room going, no, it's not.
And I can tell from the laugh which one of you is old.
This is Richard Storman.
He gave us the, we go with my question sheet.
People are people.
Where's he gone?
Okay.
So we're here.
Yes.
Richard Storman.
He did give us the first gospel of open source by giving us the GPL.
But his name is shortened to RMS.
What does the M stand for?
Michael.
Have the tension music.
Are you feeling the tension?
No.
Matthew.
It is Matthew.
The first gospel is a clue that you didn't need.
It is Matthew.
Which is Matthew too.
That's a lot.
We're back to the beginning again.
We're getting through these.
The interwebs 404.
Which one is that?
Is someone making their own jokes up?
Bering gift 100.
Geeks perving gifts for 100.
Okay.
Formally known as back track Linux.
This distribution is properly known for penetration testing and security audits.
What is?
Carly?
Carly Linux?
Yes.
100 points.
We're doing well here.
Okay.
What have we got left?
We've got a couple of hundreds there on the Deep Silver Europe endless people and people.
And that's pretty much it.
So the easy questions left?
Silver for 100.
Deep Silver for 100.
So when asked to deploy at 5 to 6 on a Friday evening,
what phrase am I generally going to say to my boss?
Gunner?
What of Gunner?
Yep.
Because that's never going to happen, pal.
Yeah.
You might laugh.
I had a boss once who insisted on deployments on Friday.
Because he said, if anything goes wrong, it's okay.
Because you can stay in at the weekend to fix it.
I'm only only once had a boss like that.
Oh, is that there's a man who's going, yes.
But I work for them.
I can't say anything.
They'll fire me.
Okay.
We've got a couple of left.
A penultimate questions.
Which would you like?
A paper.
Let's do Europe endless for 100.
Here we have endless for 100.
This Scandinavian country saw the creation of my SQL.
And from Denmark.
There's not so many Scandinavian countries.
We've been probably working out by process of elimination.
It's going to be Sweden or Norway.
So I'll just guess and say, what is Sweden?
It is Sweden.
100 points.
There we go, Sweden.
Unfortunately, we do have a code of conduct at the conference.
Which means I can't do any of the Swedish jokes that my Norwegian friends have told me to say.
But it's okay.
Sweden is actually doing quite well.
They knew Prime Minister has just been voted in.
He will have assembled his cabinet by next week.
It's an IKEA joke.
Thank you.
Right.
We don't have much left.
I think it's just people are people.
Right.
For 100.
And the question is, this finished student announced a just for one operating system in 1991.
Linus Durwald.
It would be Linus Durwald.
Yes, it is.
Excellent.
There.
What are everyone?
Now, it does seem that we've come pretty much to the end of our quiz.
This is where you go all by the way.
Okay, never mind.
But there is one more question that is lurking.
Looking at the grid you can see on screen.
There is another clue there.
There is one extra little puzzle for you to solve.
Can you work out the puzzle?
What?
I just know that.
I've waited 26 years to write no this audience.
Never go to give you up.
You have no idea.
I mean, we won't work hard to do these things for you.
But coming up with that took longer than the last 26 years of this conference.
Never go to give you up.
Excellent.
So, thank you all for turning up.
Thank our wonderful contestants here for being absolutely brilliant.
Scoremaster.
And the final scores are.
Player number three with 1,000 points.
Am I reading this correctly?
Where are you?
That's you.
You're the genius.
Yes.
Take your bow.
And next we'll start by force for all the rounds.
That's pretty much everything we have now.
Thank you all for attending.
Contestants for coming up.
Being open source.
This stuff is all wrong.
Get hard.
But no one cares about that.
It's all about the fun on the last.
Been 26 years.
Been a long time.
I'll see you in 26 years time, right?
Thank you all.
Good night.